Ever notice how two people can experience the same moment completely differently? You share what feels like a heartfelt story, and the other person responds with a practical solution or a confused look. Neither is wrong necessarily; they are just wired differently.
This plays out constantly between genders. She comes home wanting to talk through her frustrating day at work. He listens for thirty seconds, then jumps in with advice: “Why don’t you just speak to your manager?” She feels unheard. He feels helpful. Neither is trying to be difficult. They’re just operating from different playbooks, one seeking connection through sharing, the other showing care through problem-solving.
I recently sat through a talk about generational differences. What became clear was how we instinctively view each new generation as the worst yet. We label them lazy, overly casual, too emotional, and not to go off topic, but the generation with the worst music. 
But they’re also incredibly tech-savvy, globally aware, and deeply engaged with social causes. They’re not bad—just different. Just like our parents thought we’d fry our brains with rock ‘n’ roll.
The same disconnect shows up in everyday work interactions. A Gen Z employee texts their manager, “Got it,” and considers the task handled efficiently. The Gen X manager stares at that two-word reply, wondering if their employee is annoyed, dismissive, or just doesn’t care. One generation grew up writing thank-you notes by hand; the other sends a thumbs-up emoji and moves on. Different eras, different communication styles, same intent.
Trouble starts when we treat these differences as character flaws instead of communication styles, and we assume someone’s being rude when they’re just being direct. We dismiss enthusiasm as naïveté or mistake caution for resistance. But here’s what changes everything: curiosity over criticism. Instead of asking, “Why are they being so difficult?” try, “What are they trying to communicate?” That’s where understanding begins, with curiosity. Curiosity leads to clarity. And once we start to see each other more clearly, connection naturally follows.
The solution isn’t rewiring ourselves—or each other. It’s learning how to bridge the gap. Maybe that means adding more context to your message or calling when you’d rather text. It could mean letting someone vent before offering a fix, or asking why they prefer a certain approach and listening to the answer. You may even find that you like the different style enough that you adopt it yourself!
We’re all wired differently, by biology, by experience, by the times we grew up in. Connection happens when we stop trying to fix each other and start learning how to meet in the middle.
“To effectively communicate, we must realize we are all different in the way we perceive the world.” — Tony Robbins
When have you caught yourself in one of these communication gaps—and found a way across it?
Have a great weekend.
-Vijay