Most of us would agree that negotiating with others can be stressful and sometimes even intimidating. This is even true for those of us that love to negotiate just for the fun of it. Yet, have you noticed that negotiating with yourself is even more challenging? I am not talking about accidentally bidding against yourself for an auction item, though I have done that ?. The proceeds of the auction went to charity, so at least I didn’t mind paying extra for the item that I had already won! I’m talking about what goes on in our head; the negotiations we have with and against ourselves. Can you win against yourself? And how do you even define winning when you are on both sides of the debate?
I recently started working out again after a long hiatus and it’s felt good to get back into it. While I am glad to be active, my neighbor and I changed our late morning workout to the ungodly hour of 7AM and when the alarm goes off, the internal debate starts immediately. I believe you may be familiar with this argument: It begins with one side arguing that even 10 more minutes of sleep will be good for me, and the other side countering that the workout is better for me both now and longer term. But the long-term benefits occur later, and I need sleep now; we do like immediate gratification after all. So, each time this debate arises, ultimately part of me loses, but part of me also always wins.
Losing to yourself is frustrating, but when half of you wins, are you really losing? I do know a few folks that love to negotiate, I am one of them! I view negotiations mostly as a win/win situation: I either accomplish my goal or I learn a lesson. I only truly lose when I go against what I believe; whether it’s losing the extra sleep that may be needed or skipping that workout (also sometimes needed) or making a business decision that goes against my instincts and
There is nothing wrong with negotiating against yourself if it is authentic and the side that wins is what you believe in, at least for that day.
“Sometimes the hardest battle is against yourself.”– Unknown
What are you negotiating this weekend? Let me know.