A couple of weeks ago we lost another icon. Starting from an early age, this icon was a true pioneer who broke many barriers: Not only did she go to college at a time when not many women did, but she graduated at the top of her class from Ivy League schools and got her law degree. During her life, she fought tirelessly for gender equality and women’s rights and held a seat on the Supreme 
Court for 27 years. Her efforts did not go unnoticed in the media, as she became part of a skit on Saturday Night Live, had a movie made about her, and of course, got a rapper nickname, Notorious RBG. All amazing accomplishments! RBG stood up for what she believed in and did not care about what others thought; she was a force to be reckoned with. What sticks out in my mind as I hear stories about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is her relationship with Justice Antonin Scalia. They were on opposite sides of many issues, as she was liberal while he was conservative. The two disagreed and battled fiercely on many topics, but what made their relationship great was the fact that despite their differences, they were great friends. They shared a love of opera, would attend New Years at each other’s houses, and even vacationed together with their families. I guess opposites do attract.
I have many friends with whom I disagree. We often have heated conversations and debates on various topics, some serious and some irrelevant, sometimes we bust each other’s chops and other times we banter just to banter. Similar to the Justices Ginsburg and Scalia, we do attack and debate ideas, but never each other; it’s never personal, and at the end of the day there is a mutual respect for each other.
So much can be learned from Ginsburg and Scalia’s friendship. Disagreeing with someone else’s point of view is natural, but it’s important to remember that person is more than just their opinion. In fact, if you take the time to look past your differences, you may find some common interests you share. Like RBG and Scalia, opposites do attract, and a great friendship can develop.
RBG said of Scalia, “We are two people who are quite different in their core beliefs, but who respect each other’s character and ability.” Who will your next great friendship be with?
Have a great weekend,
Vijay
Thank you for this reminder that we need to seek first to understand and listen. Especially now when long time friends might disagree with my viewpoint in these challenging times.
Timely reminder in these hyper-partisan times, when even views on how to best navigate a pandemic have become politicized and an excuse for personal attacks. We all need an outlook more like Scalia and RBG.
There are some relationships where it is best just to not talk politics at all. Focus on common areas/bonds and forget the rest. I don’t even know where some people stand, which prevents any arguments… But the relationships you describe are better – to be able to debate and even argue, but to have a strong friendship that transcends all of that, because of other important areas of common interest.
I do have to note, however, that political leanings can also reflect values – not just abstract, intellectual policy differences. That’s what made the Scalia/RBG relationship (or, for us Gen-X-ers, Reagan/O’Neil) rare and special.