Years later, while working for a consulting firm, my boss told me that we needed to talk without any context. I really hate that. He asked me to find him later because he was running late for a meeting. Anxious to find out what he wanted, I tried to talk to him several times throughout the day. Unfortunately, because of our respective schedules, it took a day or two for the two of us to finally speak. I wasn’t thinking the worst (getting fired), but I certainly wondered what he wanted. Did I miss something with a client? Maybe I accidentally offended someone? I was on pins and needles until our conversation. My boss got in my head and I could not block it out no matter how hard I tried.
The anticipation of our conversation continued to grow. I tried to remind myself that there was nothing I could do until we talked, and that I was only making myself miserable imagining the worst possible scenarios. Not only that, but it was also impacting my ability to focus on what I actually needed to accomplish. Once I stopped worrying about things outside of my control and focused on what I could change, I felt better and my day improved. Later, when I finally caught up with him, I learned that he wanted to share positive feedback from a client. The client told him that I had gone the extra mile to solve their problem. I worried for nothing, wasted all that time and energy and…it was good news! ? After the conversation, I regretted the time I wasted thinking about it.
It’s natural to think the worst. We all do it even though everything typically ends up fine. I’ve since been in similar situations, and I work hard to remind myself to focus on what I can control, let go of the “what ifs”, and to be in the moment. To be honest, I’m sometimes unsuccessful, but that is what makes me human. Other times, I am able to place my energy in the right things. The point is that at least I always try. Then, I can deal with the situation once I know what “it” actually is.
“We’re our own worst enemy and our own best friend.” ― Donna Goddard
What gets in your head? What do you do about it?
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