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Dinner, Conversations, and Connection: What My 8-Year-Old Niece Taught Me

A couple of weeks ago, my 8-year-old niece wanted to host a 4-course dinner for the family.  I was impressed and a little amused—how often do you see an 8-year-old organizing a multi-course meal?  But she was committed, carefully planned the menu, and assigned us our tasks.  She put a lot of thought into it, and it was clear it was important to her.

 

The big day finally arrived, and the kitchen buzzed with activity as we all worked on our assigned dishes. When everything was ready, she called us to the table with a sense of excitement that was contagious. Working together was fun!  As we were sitting down, she asked for my cell phone.  I refused—we were just about to have dinner, and isn’t that the time to put away screens? She agreed with my reasoning and told me she was collecting everyone’s phone so we could focus on dinner and each other. She wanted us all to connect and have real conversations. Sophisticated and smart, indeed!  Perhaps she takes after her uncle after all 😊.

 

In that moment, my niece demonstrated something that many of us adults often overlook or discount: the power of being present. Without realizing it, she was practicing relational intelligence. She understood, instinctively, that for our dinner to be truly special, we needed to connect—not through screens, but through genuine interaction. Relational intelligence is all about this kind of awareness. It’s the ability to understand and nurture our relationships by being fully present, by listening, and by valuing the people we’re with. Whether at a family dinner or in a meeting at work, it’s about making the person in front of you feel seen and heard.

 

When I think about that evening, I realize how much we can learn from such a simple act. In our fast-paced, digital world it’s easy to lose sight of what matters—connecting with the people around us. My niece’s small but thoughtful gesture reminded me that it’s often the little things, like putting away our phones and making eye contact, that can make the biggest difference in how we relate to others.

 

This principle isn’t just important at home, it’s crucial in the workplace too. Imagine a team where everyone practices relational intelligence—where colleagues listen to each other, respect each other’s ideas, and are fully engaged in their interactions. Such an environment fosters collaboration and drives creativity and success. Leaders who embody this quality inspire loyalty and commitment, creating a positive culture where everyone feels valued.

 

So, whether you’re leading a team or simply enjoying dinner with your family, remember the lesson my niece taught me: be present. Put away the distractions, focus on the people in front of you, and truly engage with them. In doing so, you’ll not only strengthen your relationships but also enrich your own life.

 

“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.” – Thích Nhất Hạnh

 

When was the last time you truly connected with someone? What made that moment special? How can you bring more of that presence and relational intelligence into your daily life? Share your stories—I’d love to hear how small acts of presence have impacted your relationships.

 

Have a meaningful weekend.

 

-Vijay

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