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Me vs. Me

If you happen to come across my LinkedIn profile, one thing that stands out is that I am a bad golfer. Sad but true. I don’t practice and unfortunately, I don’t have a chance to play often; I am the guy that shows up at 8:45 for a 9 o’clock tee time and my clubs are ancient. I haven’t taken advantage of all the advanced golf equipment designed to make anyone play better or the technology available to analyze how bad I really am, so….I am a bad golfer.

This past holiday season, our friend and business coach who is an avid golfer (single digit handicap!), gave me a gift certificate for a driver fitting. So, I went for the fitting. I hit a lot of balls and tried several variations and combinations of shafts and heads. I even got a mini lesson on driving; the instructor had a good time making fun of me! Of course, I made fun of myself along with them!

But now I have a bit of a problem. Golf is not as important to me as it is to my friend; the fitting experience was fun, but now, do I buy a new driver, or not? Is my old driver good enough, since I don’t play often or well? Do I want to improve my game? Where would I find the time, and what would I have to stop doing to fit golf in? All these thoughts are spinning through my head as I debate the answers and start to negotiate with myself. Of course, we all know how this will end—I’ll buy the driver and then negotiate with myself whether or not I need more golf in my life. 😊

Self-negotiation is an interesting concept. It’s defined as the act of having a conversation with ourselves to reach a decision or agreement, and it’s the process we follow to consider our options. It’s how we consider the pros and cons of a situation, identify our wants and needs, and sometimes, those of others (it is after all—self-negotiation!) Through self-negotiation, we can create a plan of action that works best for us; one that is tailored to our preferences. We can practice compromise and find creative solutions for tough situations. But, there is a big downside. It can be tough to stay objective when we are negotiating with ourselves because we might be biased towards our own interests. We might come to a decision and fail to execute because of lack of discipline. How often have you said I can eat this donut today if I work out tonight? But when tonight comes, the donut is long gone and you do not feel like working out!

So, along with self-negotiation, a little self-discipline is needed. I’m going to practice both more; they are important skills that will help us know ourselves better. It helps us gain insight into our own needs and values, create personalized plans of action, and practice compromise to find mutually beneficial solutions.


“Everything is a negotiation. Everything is a little bit of give and take.” – Lamman Rucker


What are you going to talk yourself into or out of!!! 😊

Have a great weekend.