In 2002, Sanjay and I found ourselves constantly repeating the same conversation. We were tired of working for other people and unable to fully control our time and our futures. We both had good jobs and a good life, but we wanted to build something of our own. The conversations were exciting, but they never seemed to go anywhere. We discussed several scenarios: one of us could keep working while the other explored business opportunities; we could both quit and dive in together, or we could wait until we had more money saved. Every conversation produced another option, another scenario, and another reason to wait. Looking back, I realize we weren’t struggling to come up with an idea; we already had one. We weren’t waiting for a better opportunity either; we simply kept treating the decision as optional.
Eventually, we agreed we were done talking, and it was time to do it. We didn’t declare the business, have a polished business plan, or a list of clients waiting to sign with us. We simply declared that we were done debating whether we were going to do it. It was equal parts exciting and terrifying. We had no idea what we were doing, but the decision to do it was made, and a certain kind of relief came with it.
What followed wasn’t some dramatic overnight success. We sought advice from anyone who walked a similar path, and people were remarkably generous with their time and encouragement. Then an old colleague mentioned he had a small project I could help with, and suddenly we were moving. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Looking back twenty-three years later, it’s tempting to think that first opportunity was what changed everything. It certainly helped, but the true catalyst came when we made the decision. The opportunity came after the declaration, not before it.
As long as our dream remained a conversation, it remained optional. We could revisit it, soften it, or quietly let it fade away. Talking about something keeps every door open, and open doors feel safe, but open doors are exhausting. You’re just standing in a hallway, walking from one doorway to another, wondering if there’s a better choice behind the next one. Every time you revisit the decision, you pay the emotional cost of making it all over again without moving forward.
The declaration closed the hallway. Once we’d said it out loud, there was nothing left to decide; there was just work to do. The uncertainty didn’t disappear. We still had questions, fears, and more than a few sleepless nights, but uncertainty and indecision aren’t the same thing. Declaring something doesn’t eliminate the unknown; it simply frees you from having to make the same decision over and over again.
I suspect most of us are standing in a hallway somewhere right now. Maybe it’s a business you’ve wanted to start, a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, a career move you’ve been considering, a health goal you’ve been putting off, or a commitment you’ve delayed until you feel more certain. We often tell ourselves we need a better plan, more information, or a little more confidence before we move. Sometimes that really is true. But sometimes the thing holding us back isn’t a lack of clarity. It’s that we’ve left every door open.
We spend a lot of our lives believing freedom comes from keeping every option open. I’ve found that some of the most freeing moments come when we decide we no longer need to.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.” – W. H. Murray
What conversation have you been having with yourself that it’s finally time to end?
Have a great weekend.
-Vijay