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Show Up, as if it’s Your First Date

We are in the technology staffing business, which also means that we are in business of building relationships.  And, whether we realize it or not, all relationships start with dating.  On the surface, that may not make sense since the definition of dating is to “go out with someone with whom you have a romantic interest”. Although the interests and reasons for building relationships in the business world are different from those we build in our personal lives, the concept and how we approach meeting new people is the same!  Both start with making an impression.  We (figuratively) date prospects, consultants, and clients, and experience similar challenges as with dating.  We are ghosted, sometimes truth is stretched, positions change and/or the level of interest changes and often there are communication challenges. We’ve all experienced it and may have even done it ourselves.

This reminds me of a relationship I was in several years ago.  After dating a for few years, I noticed something shifted and she was very different from the person she appeared to be at the start of the relationship. I understand and expect people to grow and change over time, but this was different.  So, I raised it one day, and even though she was right, her response surprised me. She said, “when people first date they are on their best behavior; things change.”   I thought this was interesting; why are people only on their best behavior at the start of a relationship?

I recently heard a comic say, “I aspire to be the person I am on first dates.” It’s a funny statement, but it’s also sad.  We get a chance to make a first impression only once and we usually strive to make it a good one, but what if it was a good one every time? What if we decided to be our best selves every single day? What if we show up like it’s the first date every time? They say habits are formed by doing something consistently over a period of time, so doesn’t it follow that if we are on our best behavior consistently over that timeframe, it becomes a habit and a baseline for our behavior?  And if best behavior becomes our baseline, doesn’t that give us something more to strive for?

So, why not show up likes it’s your first date every time?

“Don’t aim for being perfect because it doesn’t exist.  Aim for being the best version of yourself and do that every day.” – Roger Lee

Have a great weekend.