I recently celebrated a birthday and had several celebratory dinners with friends. One of the things I appreciated most wasn’t the food or the celebrations; it was looking around the table and realizing how different many of those friendships are.
I am very lucky to have a friends group that crosses a wide range of demographics, interests and experiences, with ages ranging from 25 to 80. I’m not looking to relive my youth with the 20-somethings, nor am I ready to slow down with the older generation, although on some days both have their place. 😃
Each friendship has elevated some part of my life; some by challenging my thinking, others by sharing experiences I hadn’t yet lived, and a few by simply reminding me not to take things so seriously. But a handful did more than elevate; they quietly changed the direction of my life.
Some offered advice at exactly the right moment while others made an introduction that opened a door I didn’t even know existed. A few gave me opportunities I probably hadn’t earned yet, but they believed I would. Many of them have no idea of the positive impact they had on me.
At the time, those moments didn’t feel extraordinary. They were conversations over coffee, a recommendation, a few encouraging words, or someone willing to take a chance on me. Looking back, I can see they were much more than that.
They were ladders.
It’s easy to look at someone’s success and assume they climbed on their own. We celebrate the person at the top without seeing the countless people who quietly held the ladder steady: a teacher who saw something before we did, a boss who took a risk on us, a colleague who made an introduction, or even a stranger who chose generosity over convenience and never mentioned it again.
None of us climb very high without someone helping us reach the next rung.
As our careers and lives progress, something interesting happens. Without realizing it, we find ourselves on the other side of the ladder. We become the experienced ones in the room. The person with the relationships who can make an introduction, offer perspective, create an opportunity, or simply encourage someone who isn’t yet sure they’re capable.
Those moments rarely feel significant. We think we’re simply answering a question, making an introduction, sharing a lesson, or offering a little encouragement. We don’t realize we’ve just added another rung to someone else’s ladder.
For us, the temptation, of course, is to keep climbing. There is always another rung, another promotion, another client, another business goal, another financial milestone waiting above us. But at some point, success is less about how high we’ve climbed and more about whether we’ve left a ladder for someone else.
Leaving a ladder doesn’t mean carrying someone to the top. Everyone still has to make the climb themselves. It simply means making the first, or next, rung a little easier to reach than it was for you. It might be sharing a lesson you learned the hard way, introducing two people who should know each other, taking a chance on someone with potential instead of a perfect résumé, or offering encouragement when someone else’s confidence begins to fade.
When I think back on the people who shaped my own journey, none of them transformed my life with one grand gesture. They simply helped me reach the next rung.
I’ve come to believe that one of the greatest measures of success isn’t how many people know your name, but how many people climbed a little higher because you left a ladder behind.
Take a moment this week to think about the people who held the ladder steady for you. Then think about the people who are just beginning their climb.
Someone is standing where you once stood, looking up at a rung they can’t quite reach. Maybe the ladder they’re waiting for is yours. Don’t wait to be asked.
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
I’d love to hear about someone who left a ladder for you, or someone you’ve had the opportunity to leave one for. As always, if this made you think of someone else, feel free to share it with them.
Have a great weekend.
-Vijay